The Blokes

I am in a good place in my life at the moment but I know that 2 years ago Bec and I had begun to dare to dream that we were starting our little family together. We had been through 7 rounds of IVF and on Mother's Day in 2013 we thought that we had miscarried but went to have an ultrasound to confirm.

Imagine our surprise and joy when we found out that not only had we not miscarried but Bec was pregnant with twins! We nervously ticked off the days and weeks and got to know the boys through regular ultrasounds as they continued to grow. Unfortunately in September the boys decided that they were ready for the big wide world when their little bodies weren't actually ready.

They both didn't make it. That was the single darkest moment in my life.

During that time there were countless people that offered their support, and I am very grateful that we live in a country community that cares, and have supportive mates who aren't afraid to ask how I'm going and then are prepared to listen when I need to share.

I also know that during that time it helped knowing that others had been through similar experiences and they turned out okay.

During that time I appreciated most not the people that came and offered advice but those that offered their support and assurances that they are there if we need. They dropped off practical things like frozen meals, which when the world is as dark as it was, preparing a meal is the last thing you feel like doing.

To paraphrase something that Angela Miller from stillstandingmag.com says they gently closed their mouths, opened wide their hearts and walked with us until we could see colour again.

Pregnancy and infant loss is something that many people have experienced but it is uncomfortable to share.

I'm growing a beard and I'm sharing my story because I want you to be able to share yours.

May our beards grow longer and awareness stronger.